Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Bad brain day.

It is one of those crushing black days, when I can't put my finger on why. When I can't look to a reason for it and yell "Fuck you, leave me alone."

When the remnants of the black rabbit hole stalk me, and my vigilance falters. I am trying to keep focused, but not even good conversation with a ray of light can brighten my mood.

A phone call from someone in worse shoes than me leavens the burden somewhat.

I just need to make it to bedtime, and start over tomorrow.

I will try not to breathe.
I can hold my head still with my hands at my knees.
These eyes are the eyes of the old, shiver and fold.

I will try not to breathe.
This decision is mine. I have lived a full life
and these are the eyes that I want you to remember. Oh.

I need something to fly over my grave again.
I need something to breathe.

I will try not to burden you.
I can hold these inside. I will hold my breath
until all these shivers subside,
just look in my eyes.

I will try not to worry you.
I have seen things that you will never see.
Leave it to memory me. I shudder to breathe.

I want you to remember. Oh. (you will never see)
I need something to fly (something to fly)
over my grave again. (you will never see)
I need something to breathe. (something to breathe)
Baby, don't shiver now.
Why do you shiver now? (I will see things you will never see)
I need something to fly (something to fly)
over my grave again. (I will see things you will never see)
I need something to breathe. Oh. Oh. Oh.

I will try not to worry you.
I have seen things that you will never see.
Leave it to memory me. Don't dare me to breathe.

I want you to remember. Oh. (you will never see)
I need something to fly (something to fly)
over my grave again. (you will never see)
I need something to breathe. (something to breathe)
Baby, don't shiver now.
Why do you shiver now? (I will see things you will never see)
I need something to breathe. (something to breathe - I have seen things
you will never see)
I want you to remember.
- REM "Try Not To Breathe"

7 comments:

Dragonfly Dreaming said...

I can relate. Weak words, but true to the very core of my soul. Trust me, today was one of those days for me as well.

I will breathe for you today, if you perhaps can breathe for me tomorrow in return.

(( hugs ))

Claudia

Mr. Nighttime said...

I'll take your breath, and return the favor tomorrow. With all that you are going through, I am honored you stopped by to share, and help.

Jay said...

I have those days too, though less than I used to, thankfully. I feel for you though, and I'm sending a hug.

Do you suffer from migraine? I find that I'll sometimes get the black days before a bad one.

having my cake said...

I normally blame my hormones for those bleak days... and swallow some B Vitamins to compensate. It doesnt always help tho. Sometimes your brain just perceives things that are not there and then magnifies them until they threaten to engulf you.

Listening to sad songs is never a good idea. So I put on something cheerful.

And then I normally go and punch the shit out of my bag to get some endorphins flowing!

Hope you're feeling better today x

Anonymous said...

In my case, I try to breathe, though I do hold my head still with my hands and my knees. I shiver from the coldness within me. I hope the rabbit hole has released it's grip on you today.

Mr. Nighttime said...

Anon, and all - Thanks for the good wishes, and I am doing decidedly better today.

gemmak said...

Crap aint it...I'm a bit late to this post...I'm hoping things are a little better now.