Friday, July 18, 2008


Two nights ago, Mrs. Nighttime and I celebrated 19 years being married. It has been a long road, and while we still have things to overcome, we are working together on this. Going through the medical crisis that I did puts particular strains on a marriage. Almost dying twice is not an easy thing to deal with for both the person going through it, and the person who is caring for them. Such is the case with me.

Nietzsche remarked that "Whatever does not kill us, makes us stronger." There is a great deal of truth to that, though when it comes to marriage, it can have the opposite effect. The trick is learning to crawl your way back. Joseph Campbell remarked that "Marriage is an ordeal." It is a shared one, to be sure.

The other night however, was a time to put those things aside, and just enjoy things for what they are. We were looking for a good restaurant to go to, some place we have never been before. A friend of the wife suggested Esperanza Mansion, on the east side of Keuka Lake. It was a great suggestion. The food was terrific, we had a great bottle of Pinot Noir from Ravines Wineries, a Keuka Lake winery. The view from the northeast end of the lake was wonderful as well. (As you can see here.)

Some other shots from the restaurant:

This is the view to the west side of the lake.

View from the restaurant veranda, looking southeast. This is smack in the middle of farm country, as well as wine country.

Petunias on the veranda.

Inside one of the guest dining rooms. The mansion is also a hotel/B&B.

Rear view of the mansion. I was not able to get a view of the front veranda, as the grass was soaked from a rainstorm that we rode into on the way there. Lots of lightning and downed trees on the road. It was a 90 minute drive there, but well worth the effort.


Anonymous said...

Looks nice, and HAS to provide a good atmosphere - just imagine the 90 minute drive back after a rotten evening! Am wondering is it an old house that's been over-restored or a new build?

Peter said...

Congratulations on being married for 19 years!

Parts of it may have been a rocky ride, but I'm always pleased when a couple finds out their bond is strong and lasting.

Me and my SO have had our share of ongoing medical issues too, but I sure was glad to have someone by my side.

The place you chose to celebrate looks stunning, slightly resembling the hills of southern Belgium. You completely changed my view of NY state: I'm amazed watching all this natural beauty.

Enjoy all the upcoming years!

Peter - Belgium

battlemaiden said...


By the way, if you like whites, Ravines makes a totally kick-ass Dry Riesling. The best I've had, actually. I love their stuff.

Jay said...

Congratulations to you and Mrs N! And keep on working at it, after nineteen years, a marriage is worth the effort. I hope you come through this and really do end up stronger. My OH and I have been married 31 years, and yes, we've had our rocky bits, but it's all worth it!

The mansion looks beautiful! I'm glad to hear the food lived up to the promise!

Mr. Nighttime said...

j - no, it is not a new building, but is a restored one.

Peter - Thanks for the congrats, and I'm glad you enjoyed the views! Yes, most people forget that there is an entire state outside of NYC, and most is it is rural and mountainous.

BM - Thanks for the tip, but I am not a white wine drinker, and neither is Mrs. N. Then again, Riesling is the chief grape in our wineries here, IIRC. I will however be visiting this winery when I get a chance. That Pinot was out of this world!

Jay - thanks for the congrats, and we shall see what happens. It is one day at a time. The food was amazing. I had a great filet mignon, something I have not had in ages, the asparagus ravioli appetizer with smoked Gouda was to die for, and Mrs. N had a bouliabaise (sp?) that was excellent.

buffalodickdy said...

That's a beautiful part of the world I hope to see some day!

Retiredandcrazy said...

Congratulations to you both and your choice of venue looks superb. OG and I have been together for 35 years and are going through the "whatever does not kill us, makes us stronger" bit too. It sure focuses the mind!

having my cake said...

Congratulations to you and Mrs Nighttime. Here's to the next 19 x

A.D. Sisson said...

Congrats on 19 years.
Esparanza ix a gorgeous place.

Take this to heart.
Julian of Norwich said:
All shall be well, and all shall be well and all manner of thing shall be well.

Glad you survived death twice.
Here's to another 19 years.

Mr. Nighttime said...

Buffalo - Yeah, you should make it up to this part of the country sometime, as it is really lovely.

retired - Thanks for the thoughts, and yes it does indeed focus the mind.

cake - Thanks so much.

Andy - Esperanza is gorgeous, isn't it? Have you and Jen been there?

gemmak said...

Firstly congratulations on making the 19 years...something I failed dismally at twice!

Secondly congratualtions on what is probably the best and most honest approach to marriage I have yet heard. With an attitude like yours you deserve to make the next 19 years at least :o)

VioletSky said...

What an absolutely gorgeous spot to celebrate. Maybe for the 20th you'll get to stay longer...?

Your appetizer sounds to die for, glad you didn't.


Claudia said...

Oh honey, congrats. to you and the missus. I agree, being married takes work and time and effort on the part of BOTH involved or it will not work. Stress, money issues, health, it all adds to the demise if not handled with respect, care...and let us face it...


Just saying.

* muah *

Proud of you both. With or without the kinky sex, which you can feel free to provide me with details of later in a private email.

Mr. Nighttime said...

gemma - Thanks for the good wishes. Whatever happened in the past is past, and what is important is your relationship now. Life rarely offers "do overs."

Violet - The appetizer was unbelievable, as was the whole meal.

Claudia - Why didn't we know each other 20 years ago? ;-) Yeah, I will e-mail you, as there are some things that I cannot write about here.