The job market is pants...

...or so sayeth Zoe. This is why I love Brit slang. Far more descriptive, in my mind than what we have here. Of course, the Irish have my fav, all time one: gobshite. Yeah, it doesn't get better than that. It is however, a perfect description for this job market. One would think that after all this time, and all these reports that things are starting to improve, that there would be something out there that I could capitalize on. Nothing since October. It's been a dead zone here.

There is something else that popped up on the university job board this past week, and while I have about 3/4 of the qualifications for, I don't have the rest, so I'm debating as to whether or not I should apply. Even in healthcare institutions around here, the bulk of the jobs are clinical in nature, and that is not an option for me anymore.

Sigh...supposedly two million jobs have been created? I'd take about 1-2% of that for around here to at least give me a fighting chance.

First, let me pull this foot out of my rear...

...courtesy of Violet Sky. She gently (in her calm Canadian manner) reminded me that I promised to start blogging again. Last December. Did I actually promise that? I'm lucky these days if I wake up and can remember what day it actually is, I've been so busy.

A quick catch-up: Mrs. Nighttime and I are legally separated as of the beginning of this past December. I don't want to go too much father into that, out of respect for her privacy. I will only say that this has been the hardest thing I have ever endured. I feel as though I have severed a part of my own body off, and quite frankly, it was easier in many respects to endure a liver transplant than to leave my marriage. I know she is still incredibly angry with me, bu I'm hoping that with time, she will forgive me for what I felt was my only option.

In December, I did a play at Blackfriars. It kept me sane, and also provided me with one of the best acting experiences of my life. It was the best ensemble cast I have ever worked with, and there was a lot of laughter both on and off stage.

Nothing really new on the job front, however, an opportunity popped up two weeks ag that has turned into the most potential since the debacle I had back in October. Through the help of a friend, I am now the assistant press officer for one of the two leading candidates for mayor of Rochester. We're having a special election on March 29th, as the current mayor left office in January to become the Lt. governor of NY State. My friend became his press officer, and asked me to help him as his assistant. If our guy wins the election, there is the very good potential that we could all go to city hall with him.

That's all for now. Yes, it's boring, but it's a way to start blogging again.

Who do I have to fuck to get a job in this town?

Yeah, it's a crude title but I just don't care. If you read my last post, you saw that I had applied for a position that was just about as perfect for me as it gets. It fed into everything that I have done over the past ten or so years, and then some. It would have allowed me to utilize the best skills from my years in health care, and my new skills in public relations. It would have been perfect - and it went to someone else.

It went to someone else even after I was told how great and relevant my credentials are. It went to someone else without even the courtesy of a second interview. It went to an internal candidate (who I happen to know, and know is well qualified), and while I understand the importance of being able to advance a career, it still hurts that I wasn't even brought in for a second interview. I mean, I was promoted to my paramedic supervisor's job all those years ago as an internal candidate, so I get it, I really do.

Still, it just disheartens me, and makes me wonder how much longer I can keep this course. if I can't even get so much as a second interview with the qualifications I do have, what does this tell me?

For now, I'll just go sulk, but I can't, as I have to work tonight, and deal with the assholes that call in and whine about their cable TV. I didn't need this disappointment, not now, with all that I'm up against with the rest of my life.

Metamorphosis.

Four walls...bare...a closet...boxes and suitcases strewn on the floor. A large box acting as a temporary night stand...This was the beginning to my new digs as of two weeks ago. Sure as hell beats living out of suitcases.

My roommate and I are making headway treading through the maze of moving boxes, furniture, and other items that inhabit the living room and what will be the dining area. The kitchen is pretty much well settled. We're fortunate, as that her parents shipped a large load of necessities from North Carolina via some family friends. Everything from a washer and dryer, to a small dinette set, to a futon that is a couch, to dishes, and a host of other amenities. I was given a chest of drawers, which was very kind of them, and it resides on one side of my bed. The other side of the bed has my night table and lamp that I took from my house. My house...my house... I can't call it that anymore.

We met with the mediator for the first time last week regarding a legal separation. I don't want to say too much, other than this is a difficult notion for her to accept. I think though, that the mediator's explanation of the process helped her to understand why I'm pursuing this, that it protects both of us, and has no time limit. If there is any chance that we'll reconcile, this is the best thing to have in place.

I still struggle emotionally about what is happening here, and my role in all of it. I told my therapist that I am trying so hard not to feel guilt, for seeing her in so much pain. I did what I felt I had to do, but it still doesn't lessen this notion that I am the one that is responsible for all the crying she is doing, and the anger. My actions precipitated it, but I am also torn up inside, especially for all the years of things that I could not reconcile, that I could not come to terms with, and that I'm trying hard to forgive her for. Do we still love each other? Yes, we both still do. Love however, as cliche as it sounds, just isn't enough.

On the positive news front, through a series of networking connections, I interviewed for a job at the University of Rochester Medical Center 2 weeks ago. it was an initial interview with the HR recruiter, who was very interested in me. It's a public relations position, and she informed me that I was the only applicant out of 78 that has both public relations and health care experience on my resume, especially health care management experience. They called my references, so I know they're interested, and I'm waiting on a second interview. The strains of that song from "A Chorus Line" are running through my head... "I need this job, oh god, I need, this job."

Also, I was cast in a play at my theatre opening in November, that I really wanted to do, and am very excited. I even got the role I wanted.

I can feel that I am in the process of changing, but where that is leading me, I'm not sure. right now, I'm just hanging on to the reins, and trying not to let things get out of control.

Floods, famine, and hope.

I went on a job interview yesterday. The opportunity came out of the blue, via a Facebook IM conversation. About 10 days ago, a friend that is the public relations manager at a local legal professional organization mentioned to me that that her assistant had just quit, and she was now scrambling to find a replacement. She is familiar with my situation, in part because she is involved in the local theatre scene here in Rochester, and helps with PR for another theatre company in town. In the course of the conversation, I asked if she wouldn't mind looking at my resume, and consider it as part of her search process.

She was concerned that the job would be a bit boring for me, as there was not a ton of writing, and that the salary was not in line with what I might expect. She felt that I was far more advanced in terms of experience than what the position called for. I pointed out that I have been looking for a way to break into the PR world full-time, and that this type of entry level position could be just what I needed. She said to send her the resume, and I did, not knowing what would come out of it.

Well, on Wed. I got an e-mail from her, asking if I could come in for an interview on Friday. Of course I said yes, and started to prep for it, visiting the website of the organization and learning all I could about it. This has been the best opportunity to come along in quite some time. Being a realist, I know there are never any guarantees, but I wanted to make the best showing I could.

Of course, things are never smooth, and Thursday night, just before Mrs. Nighttime and I were to head to our theatre for rehearsal (we're both in a play there, opening a week from today), we come back home to find that the water heater has blown. Half the basement was flooded, so we cut the water off and started manning the bilge pumps. (Translation - We broke out the mops and the shop vac, and poured the excess down the sump.) Mrs. Nighttime got on the horn to someone she kn0ws, an HVAC technician that services her building. He was able to get us a new water heater, and now 24 hours later we have hot water again.

When this happened though, it jarred me some. I got really snippy, and I knew it was that "Oh, no. I don't need this shit, not now." feeling. The other thing that concerned me was, how was I going to take a shower Friday morning? All I can say it's a good thing we're on good terms with our neighbors, at least the ones we know pretty well. The ones' down the block, whose home caught fire last year, came to our rescue and let me use their shower in the morning.

Making extra copies of my resume, I went downtown for the interview, and while heading there, I realized how I needed to get over the nervousness that was running rampant inside of me. It's amazing; I can go up on stage in front of 200 people, and be far less nervous than sitting across the conference room table from one person. I took a idea from an acting exercise called an "as if," and simply put it in my mind that I was not really at an interview at all. I was simply sitting down and having a talk with a friend.

It worked like a charm. The interview went very well, at least in my opinion, and I think I was able to convey what I wanted to achieve by working in this position. I stressed the idea that, even though the pay is lower than I would like, the possibility of acquiring new and needed skills (especially working with graphics programs, something I don't really do, since we farm out all our graphics work at my theatre), combined with the opportunity to finally work full-time in the PR world was worth not being concerned about the lower pay scale. I also stressed that this was something that I thought long and hard about, and it was not a "I need a job at any cost!" type of situation. I should know something hopefully by the middle of next month. As you can imagine, they were inundated with resumes, especially in this job market.

So, cross your fingers, toes, and whatever else you feel might be appropriate in this situation. The famine that has been my job search, I am hoping, has come to an end. If this comes through, you will probably hear my screams of joy across the country and beyond.

Hope springs eternal.

I have been in something of a funk lately. I would have thought with so many things going right, that the last thing I would have to deal with is being in a revolving blue mood. No, it's not the economy that bothers me, though it does impact me in some ways. It's not the stock market tanking worse than the Buffalo Bills did this season. It's just this odd feeling that I am not progressing as fast as I would like with my writing business, and in part that I need to get out of my current place of employment. Fast. Like, yesterday. Yes, I know I have expressed this opinion in the past, but the need to find a healthier work environment has never been more dire. It will mean giving up the nice, cushy environment of telecommuting every day, but at this point my mental health is of far greater importance. I'm just sick of my brain turning to goo every night that I log on to my work VPN and deal with the same stuff over, and over and over.

To that end, I have stepped up my job search efforts through relentless networking. I did get hooked up with a recruiter who was very supportive, and very impressed with my resume. They specialize in IT and healthcare, and this was the first recruiter that I have ever met that truly seemed personally interested in helping me. I need to follow-up with her today or tomorrow, but I am somewhat hopeful that she will be able to crack open some doors in places that I have not been able to get into in the past.

I also have needed to step up my business efforts. It's been a difficult transition to learn how to be a businessman, and I know a lot of it is my fault. I have been concentrating far more on the writing aspect, which is no less important, but I also need to concentrate on how to effectively market myself. I'm going to start next week by attending a local networking organization for small businesses to try and make more contacts and get better ideas.

I found some inspiration in my friend Sonia. She is a dynamic British transplant that has been living here in Rochester for many years, though she did a stint in Atlanta for a few years. She moved back here after deciding that two hour commutes was just not her thing anymore. Sonia was big in the PR community and film community here, as well as having an incredibly good outlook on life. We talked a lot about self-motivation, how we change and mature through different stages of life, and that she is going to use whatever contacts she has to try and help me out. We met at a local Starbucks, and between her and the cup of Sidamo, it was a much needed shot in the arm.

I have accomplished a great deal in the past year or so. I gained a great deal of traction in taking charge of my life again, like I used back in NYC. I lost a lot of that drive over the past few years, and worked like a dog to get it back.

I don't want to lose that momentum. I think it is time for a retread.

You need a time out!

Correct me if I'm wrong, but as I understand the way these things work, career centers are supposed to be full of helpful, knowledgeable people that can assist a person in their search for a new job. I mean, these are supposed to be human resource professionals that understand the issues facing today's economy, and the struggles that people go through in order either to find work, or to improve their current job situation.

This is what it is supposed to be, right? Tell that to RochesterWorks.

I used this service some years ago when I was out of work, and was very unimpressed. It was with a jaundiced eye that I considered going back there when it was suggested to me to give them another go to see if they might offer some assistance, at least regarding re-tooling my resume. I was told that they actually had improved their services.

So with trepidation, I signed up for a resume review session for today at 11:00 am. I made several different copies of my resume available, in different formats that would be arranged depending on the type of position I was trying for. It turned out to be a group session with six people and a moderator. We would all get to see each others resume's and critique them. Not a bad idea, I have done this sort of thing before.

Then the moderator opened her mouth. What came out were some of the most condescending, shrill, and trite statements that I have not heard in a long time. This was a human resources "professional?" I use the term professional very loosely, you see. She was about as unprofessional as it gets. First, she would make comments such as "I love you for it," or other such drivel to people when making observations about things on their resumes. Her interaction style was that of a parent to a child. She really jumped into the deep end of the pool when it was time to look over my resume.

After everyone took time to make some notes on my resume, she started to make a point regrading my opening summary, something that I disagreed with and was trying to explain why. She then proceeded to put her index finger to her lips, and shushed me as though we were in church and I was making too much noise. I simply lifted an eyebrow, and threw daggers at her through my eyes, which was enough for her to realize she had just made an enormous faux pas.

It took all of my resolve not to let my inner Bronx-boy out and let her know what I thought in an old school fashion. Normally, this would involve many four-letter words and references to the sexual exploits of her mother. I decided that this would not achieve my main objective; to get her in so much trouble, that she would have no recourse but to fall on her sword in remorse. A few minutes after her attempt at silencing me, she apologized, but the sincerity that should have been there was sorely lacking.

She pulled another bonehead move; she implied that I had "returned to Rochester as a result of something happening to me in NYC." She came to this stunning conclusion after seeing that I listed two of my former health care jobs from my paramedic days in Brooklyn.

"I didn't 'return' to Rochester. I moved here. I'm from NYC, and those were jobs that I held back then."

I think I saw the blood drain from her face as she realized she screwed up yet again.

So, on it went, until it mercifully ended. I went home madder than hell, then got together with a friend for coffee. The look on her face when I told her what happened was enough to tell me that I knew I was in the right. My friend is a former business owner, and she is far too familiar with HR people. I went home after calming down enough, and wrote a scathing (but professional) letter to the executive director of this organization, and e-mailed it to him. I am hoping for an answer tomorrow.

What I'm really hoping for is that this moderator gets sent to her to her room without any supper. Well, not really of course, but a good tongue lashing couldn't hurt, could it?